So Fellas...
Did you keep it real? Man, bye!
(I'm taking notes in Double's class...)
So...I consider myself an attainable chick - ain't scoping no man to be my NBD...cuz ain't no NB...LOL.
Besides, I am one of those who believes Girls just wanna have fun! And that's how I'm living from now on...to enjoy life...with or without a guy who has me on his arm - even though I do prefer to have that special man in my life...when God brings me to him.
Peace, my brotha!
DD
(I'm taking notes in Double's class...)
So...I consider myself an attainable chick - ain't scoping no man to be my NBD...cuz ain't no NB...LOL.
Besides, I am one of those who believes Girls just wanna have fun! And that's how I'm living from now on...to enjoy life...with or without a guy who has me on his arm - even though I do prefer to have that special man in my life...when God brings me to him.
Peace, my brotha!
DD
I choose to love myself, live life to the fullest, and encourage others to liberate themselves!
Um, 1st of all...bone sucking sauce?
But here's the thing...you projected it right back to women with no account for the fact that acting on assumptions is unfair. You basically put a bow on the fact that men are insecure
So I'm getting that if men PERCEIVE something negative they act accordingly. That's not fair. If women do that, we got baggage, we're bitter, insecure, got nasty attitudes. I think my bottom line is that it's time for men to be men and not give a **** what anyone thinks about what they want or pursue. I just think people should assert themselves in any type of relationship. If you punk out in the beginning, then guess what? Yyou can't flip and pull rank later.. Step up like a man, get treated like a man. I defy you to show me a woman who doesn't respond to confidence and swagga. All you can do is approach with such. If she doesn't bite, she doesn't bite What's the big deal? This brings me to some of the dumb **** ya'll say when you do work up the nerve to speak, but I'll save that for another day. Bottom line, most of the time it's not the man being rejected it's his approach.
What's the difference in if she feels like doing so and one look in your direction will have you doubting yourself YOU ARE THE DIFFERENCE! YOU have made your mind up and neither woman has said anything! The chick you think may "feel like speaking" might be the ***** to clown you.
Because sometimes women will sit alone and come off like- again, you all's perception based on your own insecurities. Come off like don't mean she is like and trust me, if ya'll feel that way, we feel it when you open your mouth. Vibe aint right and that is another reason you get shut down.
our egos ----- nuff said. See where I'm going? See the trend? I get where ya'll are coming from, I do, but I think it's just as ridiculous as some of women's hangups. Problem is that no one ever wants to discuss men's hangups or solutions for. It's too easy to blame Eve.
But here's the thing...you projected it right back to women with no account for the fact that acting on assumptions is unfair. You basically put a bow on the fact that men are insecure
So I'm getting that if men PERCEIVE something negative they act accordingly. That's not fair. If women do that, we got baggage, we're bitter, insecure, got nasty attitudes. I think my bottom line is that it's time for men to be men and not give a **** what anyone thinks about what they want or pursue. I just think people should assert themselves in any type of relationship. If you punk out in the beginning, then guess what? Yyou can't flip and pull rank later.. Step up like a man, get treated like a man. I defy you to show me a woman who doesn't respond to confidence and swagga. All you can do is approach with such. If she doesn't bite, she doesn't bite What's the big deal? This brings me to some of the dumb **** ya'll say when you do work up the nerve to speak, but I'll save that for another day. Bottom line, most of the time it's not the man being rejected it's his approach.
What's the difference in if she feels like doing so and one look in your direction will have you doubting yourself YOU ARE THE DIFFERENCE! YOU have made your mind up and neither woman has said anything! The chick you think may "feel like speaking" might be the ***** to clown you.
Because sometimes women will sit alone and come off like- again, you all's perception based on your own insecurities. Come off like don't mean she is like and trust me, if ya'll feel that way, we feel it when you open your mouth. Vibe aint right and that is another reason you get shut down.
our egos ----- nuff said. See where I'm going? See the trend? I get where ya'll are coming from, I do, but I think it's just as ridiculous as some of women's hangups. Problem is that no one ever wants to discuss men's hangups or solutions for. It's too easy to blame Eve.
It is never too late to be what you might have been
~George Eliot
so, what is the solution? Anyone?
"When Alexander saw the breadth of his domain, he wept for there were no more worlds to conquer." Plutach. Not true, for there are always more worlds to conquer.
www.myspace.com/dalexis863
Don't put words in my mouth please. This was not about why relationships in the black community don't work but for the record, IMO, the reasons relationships don't work in any community begin with lack of communitcation, trust, empathy, consideration and consistency.
I have not attacked anyone. This. Is. Discussion. No more no less. But let me point out where you've totally demonstrated at least 3 of my points.
1)You perceived attack and reacted as if it were so.
2)your words: "yes, we [men] do have baggage"
3) You've assumed-based on God knows what-That "many women don't believe we even have feelings becuase we are taught to dismiss them or keep them under cover"
You assumed, then you projected-or blamed Eve if you will. What does what you (not you personally) were taught have to do with our perception of you? Hell, I have a friend whose mother told her she should get paid to **** but that doesn't make her a hoe. You're assuming we perceive you a certain way.
Women know men have feelings. We're frustrated because you dismiss them and refuse to have any deeper discussion about them than what WE did to make you feel that way. We'll never get anywhere with that.
I have not attacked anyone. This. Is. Discussion. No more no less. But let me point out where you've totally demonstrated at least 3 of my points.
1)You perceived attack and reacted as if it were so.
2)your words: "yes, we [men] do have baggage"
3) You've assumed-based on God knows what-That "many women don't believe we even have feelings becuase we are taught to dismiss them or keep them under cover"
You assumed, then you projected-or blamed Eve if you will. What does what you (not you personally) were taught have to do with our perception of you? Hell, I have a friend whose mother told her she should get paid to **** but that doesn't make her a hoe. You're assuming we perceive you a certain way.
Women know men have feelings. We're frustrated because you dismiss them and refuse to have any deeper discussion about them than what WE did to make you feel that way. We'll never get anywhere with that.
It is never too late to be what you might have been
~George Eliot
Don't put words in my mouth please. This was not about why relationships in the black community don't work but for the record, IMO, the reasons relationships don't work in any community begin with lack of communitcation, trust, empathy, consideration and consistency.
It wasn't my intent to put words into your mouth..if it seems that way, I apologize. And u are right, this isn't about why relationships fail.
I have not attacked anyone. This. Is. Discussion. No more no less. But let me point out where you've totally demonstrated at least 3 of my points.
1)You perceived attack and reacted as if it were so.
I did percieve is as an attack because it is difficult to gauge sentiment on a screen.
2)your words: "yes, we [men] do have baggage"
3) You've assumed-based on God knows what-That "many women don't believe we even have feelings becuase we are taught to dismiss them or keep them under cover"
My assumptions are based on conversations WITH some women. They may not be as enlightened as you seem to be, but many do seem to believe that.
You assumed, then you projected-or blamed Eve if you will. What does what you (not you personally) were taught have to do with our perception of you? Hell, I have a friend whose mother told her she should get paid to **** but that doesn't make her a hoe. You're assuming we perceive you a certain way.
I don't blame anyone personally for being jaded except for having made ****** up choices.
Women know men have feelings. We're frustrated because you dismiss them and refuse to have any deeper discussion about them than what WE did to make you feel that way. We'll never get anywhere with that.
We tend to dismiss them because we are taught even as children not to show them..to "man up", so to speak. How often do you see little boys when they are physically hurt told not to cry, for example? That we often do not have deeper discussions is that many of us are uncomfortable showing deeper emotion. You may be asking why? (or not, I guess). For some of us, its that anything other than a show of strength is sometimes seen as a weakness, thus the need to "man up".. The sad thing is that some of us have a misguided idea of what it mean to "man up". It certainly doesn't mean (and this is just my own opinoin) physically, or verbally or emotionally abusing ur companion, or going thru hordes of "conquests" or any other number of things many of us often do. It does mean, again, just my opinion, acting in a responsible mannner
I re-read your initial question as to why we don't often approach (if i misread it again, please let me know)...bottom line, sometimes its just a preference..ur just not picking up a decent vibe from the person. Or ur just not interested.
It wasn't my intent to put words into your mouth..if it seems that way, I apologize. And u are right, this isn't about why relationships fail.
I have not attacked anyone. This. Is. Discussion. No more no less. But let me point out where you've totally demonstrated at least 3 of my points.
1)You perceived attack and reacted as if it were so.
I did percieve is as an attack because it is difficult to gauge sentiment on a screen.
2)your words: "yes, we [men] do have baggage"
3) You've assumed-based on God knows what-That "many women don't believe we even have feelings becuase we are taught to dismiss them or keep them under cover"
My assumptions are based on conversations WITH some women. They may not be as enlightened as you seem to be, but many do seem to believe that.
You assumed, then you projected-or blamed Eve if you will. What does what you (not you personally) were taught have to do with our perception of you? Hell, I have a friend whose mother told her she should get paid to **** but that doesn't make her a hoe. You're assuming we perceive you a certain way.
I don't blame anyone personally for being jaded except for having made ****** up choices.
Women know men have feelings. We're frustrated because you dismiss them and refuse to have any deeper discussion about them than what WE did to make you feel that way. We'll never get anywhere with that.
We tend to dismiss them because we are taught even as children not to show them..to "man up", so to speak. How often do you see little boys when they are physically hurt told not to cry, for example? That we often do not have deeper discussions is that many of us are uncomfortable showing deeper emotion. You may be asking why? (or not, I guess). For some of us, its that anything other than a show of strength is sometimes seen as a weakness, thus the need to "man up".. The sad thing is that some of us have a misguided idea of what it mean to "man up". It certainly doesn't mean (and this is just my own opinoin) physically, or verbally or emotionally abusing ur companion, or going thru hordes of "conquests" or any other number of things many of us often do. It does mean, again, just my opinion, acting in a responsible mannner
I re-read your initial question as to why we don't often approach (if i misread it again, please let me know)...bottom line, sometimes its just a preference..ur just not picking up a decent vibe from the person. Or ur just not interested.
"When Alexander saw the breadth of his domain, he wept for there were no more worlds to conquer." Plutach. Not true, for there are always more worlds to conquer.
www.myspace.com/dalexis863
Terri D.
on 5/20/09 6:43 am, edited 5/20/09 6:44 am
on 5/20/09 6:43 am, edited 5/20/09 6:44 am
Hey QT.
I've been told the same things, and have come to one conclusion: Any man, who takes himself out of the game before the race even starts, is probably doing me a favor. It takes a subsantive man to see beyond the herd, the perceived vunerability, and his own fear of rejection to make that first move. I gotta have that.
I've been told the same things, and have come to one conclusion: Any man, who takes himself out of the game before the race even starts, is probably doing me a favor. It takes a subsantive man to see beyond the herd, the perceived vunerability, and his own fear of rejection to make that first move. I gotta have that.
| "Wise men speak because they have something to say, fools speak because they have to say something." Plato "Do what you feel in your heart to be right, for you'll be critized anyway." Eleanor Roosevelt |
This part of your statement pretty much sums it up. "Granted, some men grow up or never operate like this" I believe it depends on the age of the man but some seem to slip through. When a guy is young say up to mid 20's (the kool aid stage) the mentality is that there are plenty of women out there and he wants to touch them all. When they are around late 20's early 30's (the soda and punch stage) they have realized that its time to cool down and get serious "Main Her" as the say. Make her is main chick...lol but they still have the "non main" chicks on the side, look at the divorce rate of the young adults. But when they get to mid 30's and above (The behind the counter, need a ID type liquid stage) They SHOULD HAVE realized that its not about all of that other stuff. They can approach that woman and not be affraid of rejection. And they have learned that all of those friends she is with is probably gone throw salt anyway because you aint trying to get at them (and they will probably try toget at you on the low at a later date)...SOME women get down like that so approaching a woman when she is alone is best...Now this may offend a few but all that neck jerking, eye rolling, talking with your hands and looking like you sucking on lemon heads wont get it. You might get approached by some weird as dude. You have to look approachable. The last thing a dude wants to hear is ***** PLEASE...etc....last but not least...Trust we are watching so if we see that you just shot a dude down thats o.k but if you were all loud and clowinig its a wrap. So do it like the lady that you supposed to be.
hope this is some insight and if i pissed anyone off....dont take it personal
T
hope this is some insight and if i pissed anyone off....dont take it personal
T
No offense at all, but again, "looking approachable" is relative. Why not just say the real? I didn't think I had a chance with her. Why is it always our fault? Some of ya'll are missing out on the best thing that could ever happen to you with these self imposed road blocks.
It is never too late to be what you might have been
~George Eliot
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